Shades of Success, Inc.

A Positive No? (Part 1 of 2)

Yes, it is possible to say a positive 'no.'

At a recent talk at Harvard Law School William Ury, author of The Power of a Positive No, said, "in order to say 'yes,' we must say 'no' to demands, behaviors and injustices."  Ury believes that many times we do not know how to decline a request or stand up for what we believe in.  Often, he says, our responses can be summed up in three categories:  accommodation, attack or avoidance. We accommodate to the needs of others instead of considering our own priorities before giving an answer.  Other times our attempt to say 'no' is communicated poorly and, in an attempt to assert our needs, we deliver a nasty 'no' perhaps accompanied by a scream or an argument .  A third way is to ignore the issue in the hopes that it will go away.  All three of these responses result in unproductive relationships with flawed outcomes.

In a future post, we will discuss Ury's proposed approach to a positive 'no.' In the meantime, some questions to ponder:

• How do I usually respond to a request I do not have time or interest to entertain?
• How do I deal with an unreasonable demand?
• Do I generally attack, avoid or accommodate? Or do certain people trigger particular responses?

Running Your Own Marathon

Imagine investing time and energy to reach one of your most cherished goals and almost accomplishing it ... twice.  That is exactly what happened to marathon runner Jelena Procopcuka (far left).  She trained conscientiously and came in second place in the 2006 and 2007 Boston marathons. 

On the other hand, picture a situation when you were not  as confident in your ability yet you met your goal and exceeded expectations.  Lidiya Grigoryava (right) quieted insecurities that contributed to her losing the New York City marathon in 2006 and became the winner of the 2007 Boston marathon.

Sometimes setting the course to accomplish our professional goals could feel as a lifelong marathon.   Commitment, discipline, and perseverance are key ingredients to success. If you need motivation to get started, click here to read and hear about astronaut Sunita Williams who ran the 2007 Boston marathon in space.

Career Lessons from Planet Earth

While watching the latest Discovery Channel show, Planet Earth, I could not help but notice example after example of teamwork, collaboration, and strategy.  Through Planet Earth, the animal kingdom is reminding us of some valuable lessons about performance and achievement.

• Teamwork- Male Emperor penguins gather around in a tight huddle for four months during winter time. They take turns being in the center and outer side of the group so everyone can stay warm.  This strategy is necessary not only for their own survival but also to generate heat for the eggs they keep under their belly.
• Collaboration - In an effort to catch a gazelle, wolves work together to corner their prey. Although one is usually the lead killer, he will share the kill with the pack.
• Strategy - Adult walruses stand next to each other and form an impenetrable wall to protect their young when predators lurk.