Shades of Success, Inc.

Reintroducing The Secret

Larry King, Oprah Winfrey and Ellen DeGeneres reignited the interest in The Secret, the latest book and DVD to hit the self-help market in the U.S.

In a nutshell, The Secret, reacquaints us with the Law of Attraction, which says we attract into our lives whatever we focus on. In other words, if we are constantly worried about decreasing our financial debt, guess what, we are going to attract debt. If we are worried about not getting a new job or burning out, according to the Law of Attraction, we will not be offered the job and we will eventually burn out.

So, the trick is to focus on positive outcomes.  Following the examples above, think about financial prosperity instead of debt and focus on your new job and managing your time effectively.  Positive thinking is only the first step, though. The book recommends following a process that involves taking specific steps towards achieving your goals.

In the end, The Secret has been out in the open all along:  have a definite and positive idea of what you want, set a goal and the steps to get it.

Are You Passionate about Your Career?

Valentine's Day came and went.  Chocolate and candy were the first ones to vanish.  Flowers and plants might be the only surviving evidence of the holiday that celebrates love, romance and passion. According to Merriam-Webster online, the word passion means intense emotion, fervor, zeal.  We usually associate passion with a state of being and feeling.  But could we feel passionate about our professional lives?  The answer is:  yes!

Yes, it is possible to feel exhilarated, energized and engaged by the work we do and the professional path we choose.  In fact, the most successful individuals--whether by wealth, popularity or any other measure--cite passion for their work as the reason to their success.

Signs that you are passionate about your career:

• Cannot wait to start your daily work
• Come up with new ideas for improvement, innovation and collaboration
• Have a smile on your face when you talk about your work, career or professional endeavors
• Find time to engage with other team members
• ...finally .... you would do it even if you did not get paid for it! (this is a tough one, but research confirms it)

Signs that you are NOT passionate about your career:

• Wake up in the middle of the night thinking about your to do list
• Grow tired and lethargic as deadlines approach
• Develop an overwhelming feeling of sadness, stagnation and boredom while at work
• Struggle to find something positive to say about your current work, boss or employer

What next?  Take a look at your professional life.  Are you happy? Are you grateful for the work you are able to perform? Whether the answer is yes or no, identify what are the elements, people and specific situations that make you feel that way.

Then ask yourself:  what can I do to positively change my professional life next week, next month, or within the next six months?  Take small steps and get started in taking charge of your career.  It will feel like falling in love all over again.

On Being Articulate, Mainstream and Clean

What is wrong with someone describing a person as 'articulate, mainstream and clean?'  These three words are adjectives listing three positive qualities about an individual.  So why then was there such a media frenzy last week when Senator Joseph Biden referred to Senator Barack Obama as, "the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."  Aside from the political angle on the event, Biden's comments came across as a heavy backhanded compliment. 

Would Biden refer to other presidential candidates as 'articulate, mainstream and clean?'  Most likely not. Would he appreciate it if others referred to him as 'articulate, mainstream and clean?' I bet he would say, "of course I am articulate, mainstream, and clean." And with a puzzled look he would add, "Why wouldn't I be?" And there lies the issue, the issue of preconceived notions and low expectations.

The preconceived notion is that most African-Americans are not expected to be as articulate, mainstream or clean as Senator Obama is.  So, if we were to interpret Biden's comments it would be something like, "Wow, Barack is not like the rest of his kind.  He is more like people that I am accustomed to deal with....more like me."

The Biden-Obama incident could very easily happen in the workplace.  How many times have we been on the receiving end of a well-meaning, backhanded compliment such as, 'you are so smart' (Translation:  you are so smart ... for a woman, a minority, an older person).  Low expectations and preconceived notions in the workplace transcend race, ethnicity, gender, age and any other qualifiers that make us stand out in a negative way (Translation:  makes the rest of the group uncomfortable). 

On the other hand, as givers of backhanded compliments, we are usually unaware that we just offended or ticked someone off.  We have no idea that our brain just cheated our tongue and literally spoke our mind.

Attempting to change our preconceived notions about others is a long, conscious and disciplined process.  Awareness is the first step for both givers and recipients of backhanded compliments.  Ready to give it a try?